I told a good friend of mine that I will write a book about dating myself one day.
I laughed too.
Because it’s ridiculous right and we all do feel very sorry for people who are alone in that sense. Ag shame she’s alone, we comment especially at public and populated gatherings such as concerts, restaurants, big events, parties you can add more here. I wonder what is her story?. We whisper to each other, maybe she doesn’t have friends is the first obvious one, no maybe she’s going through something, or maybe there’s something wrong with her, her life, she must be unhappy. There are times when one person in a group would say maybe they just want to be alone. Then after that comment everyone breathes a sigh of relief because – everyone is off the hook, if she chooses this alone woman person to be alone, we can’t force her to be part of the group, us. She can go be all unhappy by herself it’s better that way, nothing is obviously wrong with her, we reason and anyway we don’t know her so we’re off the hook.
If life is a stage who is the production-coordinator
Everyone goes out in groups, they call their friends and it is much like a film production. Everyone within the film industry knows that a production coordinator is key, very key, to the success or failure of any given project. They are the one who should be on top of the who, what, when, where, where, how, why and the in between question of a production things like ke back up for each and every element required for a successful film production, from catering to casting, to cameras, set design, extras , to the street security, to the rigging crew. The production coordinator has to know everything about each department and also be able to trouble shoot problems as and when they occur, before, during and after the final cut. You have to have nerves of steel and be as gentle as a dove, you can’t be anyone’s enemy – you have to be everyone’s friend (know how to make them happy for best results) while maintaining a keen perspective on the bigger picture , able to know and understand each stage of the productions cycle, what and who is needed when and how.
Production coordinators have to be able to make hard, decisive choices while being flexible and open enough to work with what they have and or hear other people’s suggestions. You have to be able to decide on the spot about what will work and what won’t work, for the production in the short to long-term. They also have to understand budgets – financial management – how to use of what’s allocated optimally, know how much to spend and where to get the best available services for the production. Production coordinators are always very busy people, always on the first ones to arrive the last ones to leave. They Never have time. I know I was “married” to one. Respect.
So the co-ordinator is a very important person, more important than the big chief – the director of the said gig, because directors only focus on the details of the picture being as in the “actors ” not the entire production. The production coordinator makes the director’s job easy, and even possible.
They ultimately are the people who decide who’s in or who is out in whatever gig they are co-ordination be it a huge film production or a party gathering of friends. You call up people, agencies and friends for a reason, this one is good for jokes and atmosphere, this is a good mediator – a tutu of the gathering, this one is a shit-stirrer, this one always has stories to tell, this one is a great cook, this one is good cleaner, and this one will do whatever I want. So if a production coordinator asks you what are you doing, you better know your story, if you scratch your head, they move on really quickly because they have no time to waste, time is precious as we speak they are on deadline and they need to pull a number of people together so that you can watch a great picture or enjoy a good party at the end of the day.
So I imagine myself as the huge production ( a film a movie, the person I know I am is under construction ) and I play the role of the production coordinator-assistant. The production-coordinator being the Creator of us all. So how else will I know what I want, what I need, when and how, what makes me happy, what works, what doesn’t which stage of the production cycle I am at, who do I need to speak to for support, for Ideas, to rest, to laugh, to cry to advise and be advised, to be nourished, pampered loved, pep-talked to?. How will I know what is going on with me, if I don’t spend time with myself? I cannot ask to be included in any production ( with another(s) ) if I don’t know what my role in the production is.
I have found myself involved in productions in which I didn’t know what my role is, am I a camera woman, a writer, an extra, an assistant? What am I doing here? Why do I hang out with these people, why do I go this restaurant, why do I wear these clothes, is it what I want or am I the person who will do whatever the production coordinator wants of a film production I think I want to be in wants?, do I even want to be in this particular production, do I want my name on the credits after the movie has ended? I have had a lot of people tell me, oh I thought you were this or that, simply because I was seen on that show with people who do this or that, I never really had a role, I was just there more of an extra, and entertainer, good to look at, dance with maybe.
I have spent a lot time on my own in between the few productions I have been a part of and almost always, before I was about to be called on for another production, they’ve been quiet moments – dead silent – as in no movement. Not even a wink in my direction. My ability or inability to be still in that moment has determined to some extent the kind of production I will be going into next. And with each production I never had an idea, never knew what I wanted or what my life was about, any smile would do I would be so lonely. In many of the productions I was in, I was just happy to be included, to get a call and be part of a team, any team please. Even though in almost all of them I was as a standby, an under-study, body-double, supporting act, never the main character.
The lead Act
When a production coordinator calls, he or she calls people who know what they are doing what they are about, what services they provide at what cost under what circumstances, what they can and cannot do. If they agree they sign an agreement with terms and conditions on both sides, so that both the production and the service provider are protected and know who they are dealing with. They call the because they often know what you offer, seen your work before, worked with you previously or they were referred to you by someone in the industry they trust. If you are already a good production your self, or a very good service provider people will move mountains and break budgets to have you as part of their production team because they know you will add value to the production and not the other way around.
So in order to add value to any production, you must know that you have something of value in you to add. One has to spend time alone, with you “craft” whatever if may be – or to figure out what it is . What services am I offering and do still want to continue in this line of business. What do I need to make my business (myself) work, function? Am I happy with myself.
So in this way it makes perfect sense for a business to function properly on its own and optimally before it can merge with another in any shape or form be it a co-production or a collaboration of any sort. I feel like I have been dating myself for a very long time, even when I thought I was in “relationships”. I have found myself in conversations with myself about the different productions I have been a part of, which ones I liked, not like and why. What did I gain from each and every one of them, what I can use what I can I throw away, forget about, I need to forgive myself for treating myself like a nothing, a nobody, a throw away, bubble gum.
When the production – coordinator is in pre-production they are crazy people, all over the place especially the week before the shoot, and often you can’t even see what they are doing running around like headless chickens. They are trouble shooting problems as directors and executive producers change their minds about budgets etc, they need to make sure that everything and everybody is in place and running well, by the time the director walks in to say ACTION! and they are on their toes throughout the filming or production, until the director calls out It’s a WRAP! It’s a moment of relief, and sadness and time for renewal for another productions.
The work is not over but the production co-ordinator can relax a bit, it’s now over to post production – adding the final touches to the shoot and then the moment that we all see, is the Movie , the curtain the raiser the product, that we will like or dislike but it all started back there with the production coordinator who selected, make the calls, and spoke to almost everyone in the production chain to make the production a success. They are never in the limelight, there’s no Best Production Coordinator Oscar anywhere, they are there somewhere meshed up with the “crew”. But without them, no production will happen. But everyone in the production line knows her name.
So I understand the value of spending time with myself… of being alone even though it’s feels crazy sometimes, having no one to share your thoughts with, bounce of ideas. It’s a difficult thing to maintain, but it is necessary.
I think I’m ready to assume my role in this production called life and be – the best role any actor can be given….
Alone or in Company.
I am in suspense myself and its the best feeling ev