The Penis Painter
I am busy writing this story about a Man Who paints with his Penis. It’s a story based on Pricasso, the guy who actually used his penis as a paint brush and painted whatever he liked including portraits of women, saw one that resembled George W Bush Jnr. I saw him do it myself in the flesh at a SEXPO in Midrand, North of Johannesburg. So imagine my surprise when a friend tells me that it’s actually set to take place this week. Felt like saying hello, I’ve been thinking about you hehe. It has moved though, from the North in Midrand to the South at the Nasrec Expo Centre. Okay here’s a sneak preview to the Man Who Paints with His Penis….
Did I just say that?
Three years ago for some spectacularly odd reason I decided I was going to visit the SEXPO, in Midrand. There had been a lot of controversy surrounding it in the media. The Christian conservative community did not want the SEXPO, including its Huge Bill Boards advertising sex and pleasures anywhere near their sight. It was a tight battle. They won and the SEXPO was held over a three day period. I went and to find out what it was all about.
So I arrive there and it is basically no different from all the boring exhibitions and conferences I’ve been to. Nothing I was interested in trying, I wasn’t curious enough. As I was walking around at the different stalls, some people were in seminars, talks on how to please your partner etc, others were spinning on poles, jumping on trampolines suggestively. I think I went with a male friend. Just can’t remember who, I do remember the pleasure I got from their discomfort. I apologise for that. Then there were your usual toys, dildos for men and women, under-garments, lotions, incense you name it. Couples walked down the many isles with what I recall to be genuinely happy faces, maybe a little blush here and there, I mean depending on which stall you stopped at, everyone would know what you were interested in. But I also found everyone was busy with their things to care about which stall you stopped at. Okay! I thought.
As I was walking I stopped at what was the most talked about stall at the exhibition. The Penis Painter stall. Pricasso he called himself with such Pride, I couldn’t help smiling with him. Wow there it is! A couple sat smiling as this guy painted them with his penis. Men were surprisingly for me his largest crowd coming to view this spectacle; many of them wore incredulous smiles. I imagine they were thinking; boy he is really painting with his penis. Never in their wildest dreams did they imagine that a guy would actually, actualize a thought I’m sure they’ve all thought at some point in their lives. I’ve heard a few guys and men say something along these lines (or was it women? I get confused) ah that one, is painting/writing/talking etc, with his penis. It’s just penis talk you know, there’s no direction there. I do think they never expected a guy to actually paint a painting, someone’s portrait with his own penis, dip it in paint and do what painters do and sell it to them once it was completed. The show was well attended.
I was on duty working, so I took out my recording machine and after I asked him for an interview thought eish he probably thought of this idea while wanking somewhere. And guess what? He did. He was literally playing around with his penis and wondered what to do with it (other than peeing and having sex) and found another use for it. Penis-Paint-Brush.
I do it for the fun of it, he told me. Isn’t it sore, I asked echoing the some thoughts of the men who stood watching and listening as I conducted the interview. Yeah sometimes it is, he said with a satisfied laughing smile. I rest a bit and just go on and do it. The money was coming in, so I was convinced it was a small sacrifice for him to pay for doing something he truly enjoys. How wonderful the world can be
At least his penis-paint-brushing did not destroy anyones life, but the use of his own penis for other purposes this time Imagine.
My friend tells that this SEXPO is going to be a sizzler, there’s a new attraction where women (sic) would go for waxes in closed up rooms with viewing holes for anyone interested in watching a woman get a vagina wax.
This time I won’t go.
I have an appointment I can’t miss. With myself.